Easy To Be Hard

One of the big troubles with starting a new job is that you have to adjust to a whole new set of attitudes and expectations for a new hierarchy of superiors. I’ve been working for the County for a little over six years now, and I’ve encountered all kinds of different personalities, from laid back to fascist. I consider myself to be fairly easy going, and I try hard to get along with everyone. Mostly, I succeed. That’s hard in environments that can oftentimes be very political - something I’m not very good at. My initial impression of the Library was that this was a place above the influence of political war games; somewhere I didn’t have to put on a mask to protect myself from those more ambitious than I.

After little more than a month, my understanding of my new situation is filling out more, and my first impression was only partially correct. I enjoy looking at the library. Anyone who knows me, knows that putting me in a room full of books will keep me entertained for all eternity if necessary. Most of the people I work with are kind-hearted, wonderful people, who I don’t anticipate having any trouble getting along with. I’m happy here, and I can even see myself pursuing a career as a librarian, and doing that program of study as my elusive second major. On the down side, I have noticed a tendency in those further up the chain of command, to fall into the black hole of political swagger. In the short time I’ve been at the library, I’ve found it to be a place that is less hostile than other places I’ve worked, but cannot fully escape the folderol so common in government agencies. I’ve met a woman, a fully trained librarian, working as a library assistant because no one would hire her based on her age - they want younger, prettier faces on the library in the new century. While this would piss me off on pure principle ordinarily, I’ll leave it alone for now. I may not know the whole story, and I try to never form an opinion of my own based on someone else’s, and places, as well as people, have to do something pretty serious in order to upset me. I try to be pretty Zen. However, I have a hard time getting along with people who are unsympathetic to the lives and needs of their employees, and although I’ve taking a ‘wait and see’ attitude about it, I’ve begun seeing signs of such apathy in my new boss.

Part of the problem is that I made a major misstep in the first few days after training, and it’s backfired on me. The other part of the problem lies in her short fuse and lack of people skills. Either way, it’s something that could affect my job, my future, and more relevant, my surgery. Here’s how I screwed up. As a transfer from another department taking a voluntary demotion, I am only subject to a three-month probationary period, as opposed to the 6 to 9 month probation I would have as a regular transfer or a new employee. During probation, an employee is supposed to be on his or her best behavior, taking as little vacation and sick leave as possible, if at all. The problem is that everyone I know and their mother is getting married this summer, and I was pre-approved for some of time off of work to attend these events before I switched jobs. I sent an e-mail to my boss, asking if I could still take the necessary time off of work in order to attend these events, one in June and two in July. It doesn’t really amount to a whole lot of time, but since I’m only a part-time employee, and the library is understaffed to begin with, it’s apparently a big deal.

On my first official day at my site once training was complete, I got a phone call from my boss at work, first thing in the morning, literally yelling at me for not mentioning these dates in the interview. I apologized, and said I understood if I had to change my plans, but she tentatively approved two of the dates I’d asked for, saying she’d get back to me about the third. Not only was this a really un-terrific way to start a new job, I was really surprised at how big a deal it was. The other people I work with told me that she was the type to blow a fuse and then drop then get over it. I didn’t take it personally (which surprised me), and began taking steps to remedy the situation. Unfortunately, this didn’t quite work out the way I thought it would. I was advised by a co-worker to try and find a substitute to cover my position on the days I wanted off. When I e-mailed my boss with the information I’d gathered, she said that I was expected to be at my job and even though I’d gotten someone to substitute for me, the library was so short staffed that the sub could be better utilized elsewhere than as a fill in for a clerk whose vacation request could be denied. Then, just this week, my boss came into the office and wanted to talk to me about my surgery. I had sent her an e-mail telling her that my surgery would not be this summer, as I’d mentioned during the interview, but would be in mid-December. She said that since my surgery was an ‘elective procedure’, and I could ‘pick the date’, that I not have it during December or January, as these were the busiest times of the year at the library. I said that this was a time period that worked really well with my school schedule, and that moving the surgery at any other time would cause me to miss classes, and that I didn’t have control over the scheduling anyway, my surgeon had fit me in where he had time available. She then said something to the effect of, ‘Well, it’s really difficult to find coverage during the winter, because everyone’s on vacation then. I don’t know if this is just a ‘part-time’ job for you to do while you’re in school, but if that’s the case, then the library may not be the place for you, and you might want to look elsewhere in the county for something like that. We have needs too, and we need people who are going to be here.” Okay” ewww. I was proud that I handled myself calmly, stating that this was not the case, and that I would talk to my surgeon, but I couldn’t promise anything. That ended the conversation, but I did get advice from co-workers who’d overheard (along with the estimation that she was being a bully) and from my father, who is a union representative in a different county. I know that I can’t be fired for having my surgery, but the problem is that during a probationary period, they literally don’t have to give you any reason for letting you go if that’s what they decide to do. Beyond the obvious reasons, I really don’t want to lose this job. I like it. It’s suits me personally, and fits my schedule better than any other options I have. Most importantly, if I lose this job, I also lose my benefits, and I won’t be able to have my surgeries at all. That would really make me angry. It would also put a sizable crimp in my plans for school, which is also evil. It’s awful how one little thing can alter so much. So, time for damage control. I decided to forgo one of the weddings, and cancelled the time I would have been away from work for that. I was denied time off for one of the other weddings, with the exception of one day that no one else had off, which is luckily when my school orientation is scheduled. One of my co-workers offered to swap the day of the actual wedding with me so that I could attend, and I want to think about that before I make a decision. I need to be on my best behavior and not piss anyone off. As for my surgery- there’s really no way around it - at least until I have my school scheduled nailed down. Even then, I don’t think there’s anything I can do. I might be able to move it forward a few days, but the problem really lies in how much time I’ll be off after the procedure. It could be as long as eight weeks, but I was able to go back after only four this last time, so who knows? It could be easier in that every move I make pulls at the incision on my abdomen, while the next procedure will be on my arms and breasts. It won’t affect every move I make, but it will limit what I’m able to do with my arms.

You know what I mean; it’s hard to explain. I’m not going to mention the surgery again until after I pass probation. While it’s amazingly easy to be let go during probation, it practically requires a force of nature to get fired after that. I’ll be a good little girl and do whatever it takes to protect my job, my future, and my surgery. I’ve worked too hard to get where I am to lose it over something like this. I can only sit tight, and have faith that it’ll all work out in the end. Wish me luck!